Someone told me I looked miserable the other day.
That was incredibly thoughtful of them.
I’ve been in pain for 8 weeks and am facing a lifetime of more of the same.
It’s safe to say that that thought wouldn’t make anyone want to jump for joy.
Im trying. I’m trying so fucking hard to not let it ruin my life and be the fake happy person you want me to be all the time. But I can’t do that and I won’t do that just to please you.
I struggle through for my patients and my own sanity and I’m not in the least bit sorry if you’re not comfortable with that.
I have to get through this any way that I can and without a doubt I’m going to have days where I don’t want to pretend to be happy or that I’m coping in the slightest.
This hand I’ve been dealt it shitty and I have to deal with it in my own way.
If you’ve seen me at work you’ve seen the good days.
You’ve not seen the days I have to hold onto the walls to move. The days I can barely stand. The days I can only open one eye at a time in order to focus. The days I spend lying with my face in a vomit bowl.
You have no right to make me feel worse than I already do.
On a better note. My comfort blanket is coming home in a few months. I could write a whole post on how ace I think he is and all the lovely ways he’s made me feel better when I’ve not been well, but I don’t think he’d like that. So I won’t. But he knows how much I appreciate him and that’s all that matters.
I know the original comment wasn’t meant to make me feel worse but it did. So just be a bit more considerate when you say things