Brace yourself. This may be a long one

I needed to write something about the go fund me page and maybe do a recap of my struggle with this fun mystery pain for those who have come late to the party. 

To be honest, it took me by surprise. Meghan did say she was going to do it but I figured she’d forget and/or have something better to do with her time. 

I’m slightly uncomfortable with it but appreciate the gesture and am overwhelmed with the fact that even on day one people were willing to donate.

I’ve made no secret of being less than great with money. I was stupid in my early twenties but have great memories to show for it. Then 2013 came around and it all got a bit harder. 

I moved to New Zealand at the end of 2012, on my own, like a crazy person.

I wanted to better my life and my career and pay off the debt I created whilst travelling. 

It started off well but then in March the following year I got really sick. I thought at first it was a hangover. But it didn’t get better. The pain was intense and throbbing and I couldn’t stop being sick. After a boat load of radiation I didn’t need, they eventually found a 6cm cyst in my right ovary. 

Here starts my many many stays in hospital. 

As a Radiographer in New Zealand we only had 10 paid sick days. So that was them all gone. 

June rolled around and the same pain was back. Long story short, the op got complicated, I had a terrible infection behind my uterus and I woke up one morning to find 4 or 5 consultants staring at me, with worried looks on their faces.

“We just don’t know why you’re not getting better” 

I didn’t understand. I was fine. I kept telling them I was fine. I could still make it to the bathroom and that was my measure of being ok.

I ignored the bit where I was unable to stand/sit/lay down or keep any food down. I was fine. I could pee without assistance. 

I was later informed my bloods were intensive care level deranged but like I kept telling them, I was fine. 

I had to be fine. 

I was alone in a country on the opposite side of the world to everyone I knew and loved and my sick pay had all been used up during that first stint. These 3 weeks and the recovery time out of hospital were getting me further into debt. 

After that stay I was in hospital almost every other month, when the pain would flare up (usually at work) and someone would force me to see a doctor who would generally send me into hospital to get the pain under control.

Eventually I couldn’t deal with it anymore and created more debt by coming back home where I could be closer to family and have someone look after me if needed. (Don’t get me wrong, I had some really good people in NZ and I can’t thank them enough, but its not the same as your mummy)

I had a few good months upon returning in 2015 but then it went downhill rapidly again. Further hospital trips. This time in Worcester, where I had moved for work. Closer than NZ but still far away.

This meant more time off work for sick (as well as being signed off for stress thanks to a horrible working environment) which, you’ve guessed it- helped me create more debt!

I moved back to my mum’s later in the year and was ok again for a bit. The pain was manageable. My GP was amazing and tried all she could to get to the bottom of it, sending me for all sorts of tests but nothing ever came back positive. 

I got admitted to hospital on shift in June 2016 because my colleague had enough of me vomiting between patients and made a nurse check my stats and that was where I stayed for 3 weeks. 

They couldn’t find a cause of the pain and nobody wanted to do anything to help. They just dosed me up and let me veg in my bed. I could only shower when mum visited because I couldn’t walk that far without help and I needed a stool to rest on when I did get there. 

Long story short, mum kicked up a fuss. They did exploratory surgery, found more adhesions than they expected, cut them up and then I was right as rain again as soon as I was awake!

Things stayed that way for a few months…then I went back to NZ and it all started to go wrong again. 

So since October 2016 I have been trying my best to the bottom of this pain and find a way to live with it.

Well that’s kind of a lie, I started the hunt whilst still living in NZ. I saw a kinesiologist who made me give up sugar. At that point I was also gluten/wheat free too so that was fun.

 I tried the low fodmap diet.

 I saw a chiropractor.

I exercised. 

I had counselling. 

I had physiotherapy. 

I’ve tried hormone treatments. The pill and zoladex. 

I’m fast running out of options.

I’ve managed to become completely debt free despite all my time off sick (for the past 18 months I’ve been a locum. No work = no pay) but as you can imagine, I have very little savings. 

So this is kind of where the go fund me page comes in. 

I’ve found a private doctor at a Spire hospital in Yorkshire and naturally they don’t come cheap. The initial consultation is £350 and then if he thinks I’m a good candidate for the operation then that’s almost £4k. 

I assume my credit rating isn’t too great right now, so I’m not sure how much, if any, they will lend me for the op. 

I’m at a loss as to what to do but I’m getting so exhaustied from living with this pain. 

In the past 7 weeks I’ve had maybe 3 days at most where I haven’t been suffering. 

I have no social life. I work (because as we have established, I have to) and I sleep. I tire easily and I vomit often.

If and it’s a big IF, further adhesiolysis is the key then this doctor may be the one to fix me. 

The surgery I’ve been looking at is called Temporary Ovarian Suspension and there is a little YouTube vid for those who are interested here

I’m hoping it will fix me for a little while or at least he could point me in the right direction of someone or something that could help me gain some kind of normality back in my life.

So here is the link if you want to help me. I’m not usually one to ask people for help but I’m having to put my pride aside and rely more heavily on others lately. 

I just would like to live my life without being in constant pain. 

Thank you for reading x
 Go Fund Me Link


2 thoughts on “Brace yourself. This may be a long one

  1. Please don’t feel awkward darling –
    you’re not asking for money, I’m asking for it for you, and you deserve it. I really hope the consultation goes well and that we can get you in for the treatment x


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