Sad thoughts

I tried to work out my actual chance of ever being able to conceive and successfully carry a child to term. 

The odds are stacked against me. 

PCOS, adhesions, the operation on my ovary, the post op infection behind my uterus that ate away at my fallopian tubes, endometriosis, dodgy cervix and the colposcopy, two rounds of PID. 

It was a depression thought. So naturally I also decided to try to figure out my rate of getting cancer from my multiple CT scans before turning 30, all the chest and abdo xrays and then all the international long haul flights I’ve taken. 

It’s not good. 

I would like to blame the hormones but I started these calculations before the injection. Just out of curiosity. 

It plays on my mind every now and then. Some days it bothers me more than others. 

Today’s tears have been set off by little random things that reminded of someone and a whole lot of stuff I guess I’ve just ignored thanks to the pain and codeine, came up to the surface. 

Anyhoo. On a more positive note I have taken just two codeine today. Figured I shouldn’t try the other stuff until we rule out the hormone injection working or not first. I managed a relatively normal day.

My tummy has a beautiful bruise now too 😊

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One thought on “Sad thoughts

  1. You may not be able to have natural child birth but there are a lot of children just waiting to be adopted. The other, is not necessarily going to happen so just focus on the good; if possible

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