Today was not a particularly fun day.
Partly because I struggled to get to sleep last night. The longer I was up, the more frustrated I got.
The pain was annoying and persistent. I day dreamed about accidentally walking into a knife in order to get someone to pay attention to the area and take it all seriously. But the risk of perforation and then subsequently being admitted to a mental facility did not seem worth it. So I just lay there watching Ghost Adventures for a few hours.
Luckily the dead people job was super quiet todsy, so I spent the shift lying on the office floor dozing in and out of sleep.
Laying on my side with codeine on board and the tens machine strapped to my side was the only way I wss semi comfortable. So that was what I did with my day.
Then cried the whole way home.
This flare up had lasted 3 weeks now and I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.
I am mentally and physically exhausted.
The smallest of tasks leaves me shattered. On Saturday I popped into town to do boring adult stuff. Post office and bank. I called in at a friend’s on the way home and fell asleep!
I am 30 years old. That shouldn’t have been so draining.
I shouldn’t be coming home from work and going straight to bed every day.
I want my life back.
Mum threatened a trip to A&E tonight but we both know it’s pointless. They’ll dose me up with the same drugs I’m already taking and send me on my way. Or worse. They’ll keep me in and starve me for weeks before sending me home having done nothing.
I just wish I knew how long this one was going to go on for. Knowing there was light at the end of the tunnel would sure help my mental health.
Just a bit of hope that the rest of my life won’t be this miserable.