Well today I conquered a big old fear!
I’ve never been particularly body confident. Yeah I can squish myself into a nice outfit every now and then and throw on some heels and pass for attractive.
I’m currently back to almost my heaviest weight. That big puffy old thing that came back from travelling 6 years ago.
I’m a slightly different shape now. I carry it better. It’s not all sitting around my face and belly. It’s spread itself out a bit more.
I’m not particularly overjoyed with the human form I am currently living in, but I sure as hell am not willing to eat boring foods in order for it to shrink around me. I’d exercise it away if I could but as we have discovered, any recent attempts to do that have resulted in/coincideded with flare ups with the mystery illness. So for now I’m just having to get to grips with this being my lot.
Sure. I’d love a smaller waist, bigger hips, more ass and a hell of a lot less back fat but ho hum. For the most part, the breasts are pretty distracting from all of that 😅
But anyhoo. Enough negativity. This poor vessel has suffered enough. It’s been through a good old bashing the last few years.
This holiday has been so good for me. Lots of alone time. Which a few months ago may have seemed like a terrible idea.
I may have finally got to grips with being me.
Remember when I said I wanted to be that old lady in the gym who didn’t gave a shit. Well I got a hell of a lot closer to that today!
I challenged myself to throw away all self doubt and my clothes, much like I have with pole and wearing a crop top. But this time I went further and headed to the nudist beach!
I’m not going to lie. It was very daunting. I was filled with worry. What if I get mocked? What if people stare? What if I get burnt? What if I get attacked by sandflies?
There was nothing to worry about. It was beautiful down at that beach.
It was so peaceful. Just the sound of the sea, cicadas and the distant chatter of people. It was so relaxing I didn’t bother listening to music and I fell asleep a few times.
Thankfully it was quite overcast for most of the day, as I’m not sure my factor 50 would have been enough to protect me from the sun’s blazing heat.
I’m not saying I’m now going to become a naturist but I would definitely go to nudist beach again. It was such a freeing experience. Wandering about the beach, watching fish swim around your feet in the sea and knowing everyone was there just to feel the sun on their skin as you were. There’s nothing pervy or creepy about it. Just lots of (older) people not giving a shit and laying in the sun.
If nobody else gives a hoot about your wobbly bits then why should you? Set it free!