I’m sad.

Im sad because currently my happy feelings are being able to stand straight/being able to walk at my normal pace/the wave of momentary relief when the codeine kicks in. 

I’m sad because I’m so good at hiding just how much I’m suffering, that I now think people don’t believe me. Like it’s all in my head. 

You still go to work every day. You can’t be that bad!

I’m working because I have to. 

I’m trying to continue to have a normal life because I have to. 

If I could, I would 100% stay in bed all day. But money is needed and the depression would win if I was allowed to wallow in self pity. 

I want my life back. 

I’m fed up of being miserable about this. 

Maybe I should throw a fund raiser party like the transsexual in a documentary I watched last night did. Hers was for boobs. Mine would be for some kind of whole body private healthcare MOT.

I’ll research and get back to you 😉

Also in total unrelated news. I’m fairly sure there is a ghost in my car. I heard a voice reply to me talking to myself. Very odd. Had to check the back seats. 

God I suck at being completely miserable 😅


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