Defeated

Today I called in sick for work. 

I always feel like such a failure when I can’t make it in. Like I’m letting everyone down.

I just couldn’t do it. I felt so sick and dizzy from all the drugs. I’d barely slept because of the pain and tramadol appears to give me insomnia. 

It’s 10pm now and I still feel pretty weird although I haven’t taken any drugs since around lunch time. The TENS has been on all day and I’ve had my trusty hot water bottle attached to my side as I’ve dozed in and out of the day.

I felt that if I’d have gone into work today I would have done as little as I could and just been a hindrance 

I shouldn’t feel guilty about trying to give my body a rest, but I do. 

Working so bloody hard yesterday is what got me into this state today. I need to be kinder to myself and not feel bad for doing so.

Once I’m out of debt I’m going to treat myself to some serious pampering. I deserve it

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