This week’s update

So where did we leave off?

I was in pain. 

Same still happening. It’s been a funny old week. Lots of pain. Mornings seem harder but I think that’s because of the night time tramadol. 

I don’t know why I bother. It seems to give me insomnia and make me extremely nauseous in the mornings. 

I discovered that if I force myself to eat, no matter how close I am to bringing it back up, it ultimately makes me more human. 

I’m not sure how human I’ve been acting this week though because I feel like I’ve failed to function most days. Thankfully no tricky questions were thrown my way but having a heavily pregnant lady cry because she had been sent for an xray and the doctor hadn’t explained any risks of radiation to her. Plus her sister has cancer so she was massively panicky. 

Thanks for that one doctor!

What else? Bought new batteries for the TENS. They lasted 3 days. Can you get prescription batteries?

Oooh but a couple of positive things happened to stick in my jar (not a euphemism!) despite all the pain. 

An elderly lady’s daughter decided to give me a 10/10 for their imaging experience. Check me out still putting people at ease and being lovely when I want to throw myself under a bus to stop this pain. 

Oh and I’m one step closer to being that crazy lady who strips in public showers 😁

Decided to treat myself to some new bras even though I only went in for a bikini. Anyhoo the lady asked if I wanted her to step out whilst I tried them on but I declined and just wapped them out. (Great description right, wapped?!)

Sure does help when someone else does the backs up on the bras that have more than 3 clasps too!

She was lovely and informed me I have finally gone down from a G. Woo! I am once again a measly 36FF (in case anybody fancies buying me undies for my 30th 😉) 

I’ve gone down a cup and a back size. Yay. All with no trying too because screw that. I’m focused on this bloody mystery pain right now. Turns out my breathing is all wrong and my core sucks from years of intermittent pain and being all tense. So screw trying to up my cardio right now. 

Apparently I’m breathing from my chest and not my diaphragm. I’m crap at the pole warm ups and my right side is so much weaker with generally everything. I can’t even lift the xray detector with just my right hand any more.

The pain clinic physio recommended pilates but I don’t want to be that weird girl who looks normal but fucking sucks at everything. I know I shouldn’t care what people think but I do. I’m a mess on the inside. Physically and mentally 

I dunno. We’ll see and I’ll let you know

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