Tough day

I almost had a full on meltdown today. 

Sitting is so uncomfortable and laying down is not an option so I spent half the day wandering round the office aimlessly and ate my lunch leaning against a filing cabinet.

I cried at work. I cried in the car. I cried at a mates house. Proper full on ugly crying too. Not just girly sobs. 

My brain was just full of pain and the more I thought about things the worse it got and the crying got harder. 

Having a look at all the paperwork to apply for sickness benefits sent me over the edge. I don’t want to do that. I feel like a fraud but what else can I do when I’m clearly not well enough to work properly. 

I’ve already lost a shit load of money by not working the past 2 weeks and God knows how much longer this is going to go on for this time. 

I have bills to pay and a party to pay for and I had not factored in this kind of loss of income because I was fine. I was ok. I wasn’t in pain. This is bullshit. 

Thankfully I’ve managed to get a few extra dead people shifts this week so next months pay should have a few extra pennies in it. 

And I got to hang out with Lyra today which cheered me up. Kids are bloody weird. At what point does it become inappropriate for them to shove their hand down your bra and ask why you have boobs? One day I’m going to return that favour!

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