Yeah I’m good thanks, you?

Why is that always my response when someone asks how I am?

Is it because I’m terribly British or because people don’t want to hear the truth and so it’s an easier response?

If I told them I’ve been feeling nauseous since before New Years eve. I’m relying on tramadol to sleep and coedine to keep me upright for the day. That on Monday I was sick twice on the drive to work, spilt the vomit bowl on myself and spent the whole day in a dizzy haze. 

Nobody wants that answer. That answer means getting sent home sick without pay, for God knows how long and it’s all pointless because they don’t know or care about why I randomly get so sick. 

For now it’s ok. It’s bearable. I can still get through a day at work. I refuse to give up pole no matter how much harder it is when in pain. That place is the only thing that keeps me sane. 

I went back to acupuncture today and ended up with a weird new piercing in my ear that should stop me from feeling so sick. 

But not before I wasted my day going to an appointment I didn’t need to attend. Blumming NHS screw up meant mine and the nurses time was wasted. Not to mention I was put under undue stress. 

I received a letter dated 5th Jan telling me I needed to book in for a smear test and seeing as it’s as been 6 months since the cancer scare I just went along with it. Apparently it was a lie though coz I’m not due til june. Why do that to me?! I feel crap enough as it is without that added worry. Bloody idiots. 

Anyhooo. On to better things. 

Let’s have a tiny chat about pole, because I don’t talk about it enough…

Minus the husband thing this stands!

I used to over think before pole. I’d worry about what I’d wear, how I’d look. Heck I even used to put makeup on. Now they’re pretty lucky if I remember to shave and wear something other than pyjamas 😂

Last night I did as I said I would and wore a crop top. Bearing all. And you know what, it was fine. Nobody batted an eyelid and if anything I was surprised at how much smaller I am in the mirror than I am in my head. 

Of course people, EVERYONE, has rolls when they’re contorting their bodies into crazy positions. And I’m finally ok with mine 😊

I did it. It took me longer than the others but I had loads of time off and I’m constantly ill. I’m improving every week 😀

Two weeks ago vs last night..

Once I get somewhere to put my own pole there will be no stopping me!



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