Sad times

Today I had my heart broken. Not by one person but by a whole group.

I knew it was coming but I wanted to believe I was wrong.

My close group of “friends” proved themselves to actually not be very close at all from the moment I moved back to the UK. Some of the hardest points in my life they were nowhere to be seen. During some pretty rough patches where I got quite suicidal they were less than helpful. One suggesting I throw myself out of a window, whilst not a single person pointed out how they had crossed a line and should back off.

The whole time I was in the hospital this time round, one person from that group text and the same person visitited. That’s a poor turnout from a group of about 10. But to top that off its been made clear I do not belong and am not wanted now that Christmas dinner has been arranged and I’m not invited. I’m not even thought about anymore.

What could a person do that’s so horrible that warrants that kind of behaviour? Because I honestly don’t think I’m that bad a person. But it’s ok. I’d rather have a handful of people I could trust with my life than a load who are willing to stab me in the back